Today I needed to  get a quality internet server up and running quickly.  Usually when this need arises I go to Server Matrix / The Planet / Softlayer but  today was a different story. I needed to get what some claim to be the best of the best of the ‘recognized’ hosting providers.   This is supposed to be Rackspace.  Now, granted, Rackspace has been around forever.  They were never really the cheapest option but they certainly have provided a range of server solutions since the dawn of the internet and any real webmaster would know that.

So I navigate to rackspace.com and start looking for a solution that will offer only a few things.

1. The ability to host on a Rackspace server (so from outside appearances it looks like I know what I’m doing)
2. A dedicated IP address
3. The ability to scale my operation if needed
4. Red Hat Linux
5. Cpannel / WHM

So after clicking around desperately to find what I need on their hundred million dollar ultra facnypants melting-pot-full of every ethnicity faced weirdo that could possibly exist on a website, I realize they just aren’t going to disclose what it is they are actually offering.  So I do what they probably wanted me and everyone else to do in the first place:  Call.

CALL?… WHO?… US?…RACKSPACE!?!?  I’m so sorry.  No customer can call almighty Rackspace, Lord of the server world without prior approval!  – is what I imagine they tell each one of their wide-eyed noobie sales reps on their first day of training. Silly me. Why would I think such a thing?

BECAUSE THEY DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE

After calling, I must have waited on the phone for at least 10-20 full minutes before anyone answered.  Does Rackspace have any clue how long that is in internet time? They probably wasted about 59 hours of internet time.  My internet time.  So while I was sitting on hold (waiting to patiently to discuss how when they would be receiving my money) I had a vision.  It was not really a vision, mind you, but a connection.  I truly believe that while I was lost in  bewilderment after being on hold for so long, I was actually able to leave my body and travel through the phone line to the other end.  My one dear loyal reader…let me show you what I saw:

The story will continue…